Will a heavenly messenger show you a word cloud of your actions?

This morning I stumbled upon my profile at www.journalisted.com, an uncannily all-seeing website which is a bit like an OCD God with an obsession for journos. An interesting feature of the site is the ‘wordcloud’, which collects a journalist’s oft-used words and arranges them in a little box. Each word is sized in dependance upon its frequency (so ’limpid’, for example, would probably be rather small, unless you were writing a piece about whether you can see the bottom in Hampshire rivers). I can imagine that in this day and age, when you die and arrive at the pearly gates, a heavenly messenger will produce for you a word cloud of your actions in this life (together with links to people who have acted similarly, who you will be able to recommend and share). You would then be either spam-filtered or bookmarked, depending on the result.

Anyway, so on my profile I was a little surprised at how many of the words were Jewish-related. I suppose I’ve written a few pieces on the subject. In the word cloud, ‘Jewish’, ‘Jews’ and ‘Judaism’ feature in — as Larry David might say — ‘pretty, pretty’ large fonts.

But I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself at the inclusion of a word which, at first glance, appeared anomalous, but then made perfect sense. You know the old joke, ‘ten Jews, eleven opinions’? The word was this: ‘arguments’. In the plural.