Headlines are once again dominated by the conflict in Libya today. News is also coming in, however, that Jake Wallis Simons (32), a British writer, had a shower this morning. According to some reports, he came back from holiday yesterday and found that work had still not been completed on his shower, which had recently been leaking.

“It was a normal shower, really,” said Simons afterwards. “I went down the road to my grandparents’ house, turned on the hot water, and Bob’s your mother’s brother. There’s nothing to it, really.”

A picture of events is gradually building up, based on eyewitness reports. Simons, who had already answered some emails at home this morning, left the house at around 10:34am and walked the several hundred yards to his grandparents’ 17th Century townhouse. His grandmother opened the door, and ushered him upstairs to the shower. The water was hot, the pressure high. He used Radox coconut shower gel and a “weird smelling” shampoo called Aussie, which made him smell like “a bag of pic-n-mix.” He then left and walked into town to sit – or rather, write – in his favourite café.

“I can’t see what all the fuss is about,” said Simons bemusedly. “It was just a shower. You know? A shower. It’s really no big deal.”

His grandmother, known popularly as “Mutti,” echoed her grandson’s sentiments. “He did leave quite a lot of water on the floor afterwards,” she told reporters, “and blamed it on the high pressure of the shower. But apart from that, very little was out of the ordinary.”

When asked whether the parallel between his grooming habits and the missiles showering down on Tripoli was intentional, Simons was ambiguous. “Just get out of my face with that notebook,” he said.

His grandmother, however, was more reasonable. She commented: “the boy has always been a bit of a rebel.”