Posts Tagged ‘blackberry’

My iPhone is Shit

iPhone, my iPhone:

Back when I upgraded, you seemed like such a blessing

So I’m completely mortified and guilty about confessing

It’s all hype, I can’t type on a tiny pain of glass;

Sending texts and emails is really quite an arse.

Every day you’re causing me embarrassment with typos.

“Thanks for the birthday ‘pressure’?” You make me look a psycho.

You act all slick and cool but actually you’re phoney.

My friend named her son Toby — you renamed him “Tony.”

What’s the point of a phone that drops important calls?

How can you hold your head up when your camera’s a load of balls?

It freezes really badly when I try to take a pic,

I’ve lost so many memories, I’m feeling like a prick.

I’m sick

And tired

My temper has expired

I finally got a piece of kit that everyone admired

But it’s shit

That’s it

I should flush it down the loo.

Followed by my iMac and my iPad too.

But then again, my Blackberry isn’t that much better.

Maybe I should pack it in, write a fucking letter.

Upgrade — or Unbearable Naivete

Blackberry, O my Blackberry,
No longer shall I suckle at thy tarry teat,
No longer shall I trackpad.
With my iPad,
And my iPhone 4,
I will touchscreen.
Obscene?
Perhaps (with all the apps).
But now I’m Schnaps, no longer Snapple;
I’m not a berry,
I’m an apple.