Posts Tagged ‘blackberry’
My iPhone is Shit
iPhone, my iPhone:
Back when I upgraded, you seemed like such a blessing
So I’m completely mortified and guilty about confessing
It’s all hype, I can’t type on a tiny pain of glass;
Sending texts and emails is really quite an arse.
Every day you’re causing me embarrassment with typos.
“Thanks for the birthday ‘pressure’?” You make me look a psycho.
You act all slick and cool but actually you’re phoney.
My friend named her son Toby — you renamed him “Tony.”
What’s the point of a phone that drops important calls?
How can you hold your head up when your camera’s a load of balls?
It freezes really badly when I try to take a pic,
I’ve lost so many memories, I’m feeling like a prick.
My temper has expired
I finally got a piece of kit that everyone admired
But it’s shit
I should flush it down the loo.
Followed by my iMac and my iPad too.
But then again, my Blackberry isn’t that much better.
Maybe I should pack it in, write a fucking letter.
Upgrade — or Unbearable Naivete
Blackberry, O my Blackberry,
No longer shall I suckle at thy tarry teat,
No longer shall I trackpad.
With my iPad,
And my iPhone 4,
I will touchscreen.
Perhaps (with all the apps).
But now I’m Schnaps, no longer Snapple;
I’m not a berry,
I’m an apple.